Remembering Smells

Yesterday Willow got some puffy Care Bear stickers from Aunt Sarah. They were just like the ones that Sarah and I used to have in our sticker books. As I opened the package for her, the scent of the puffy stickers took me back a decade or two.

It got me thinking of how I remember smells... The smell of summer rain on dry dirt reminds me of my Grandmother and Grandfather's house in New Mexico.

The smell of a cassette tape reminds me of when my sister Sarah and I used to "create our own version of a radio show"... rewinding it and listening to it's imperfections, only to re-record it and do it all over again. (With our own man-made commercials and all.)

The clean smell of TIDE reminds me of a childhood friend, Jaime Larsen's house...

What do you tie to your memory of smells?

Eat your green beans, or I'll call Santa...

So. The other night I made dinner, as usual... But something very funny happened. I called Santa to report that Willow was not eating her green beans. He proceeded to tell me that Willow was still on
the "NICE" list, and that if she were to NOT eat her vegetables, she would indeed be struck from the good list, and onto the "NAUGHTY" list.
Well, this conversation was so believable to the outside ear, that Willow did INDEED eat her green beans.

She also asked for more.

CHRISTMAS TIME IS HERE...***)))

Oh how I love Charlie Brown Christmas The Movie.
I love it so much that I bought the DVD for my girls and we have seen it now several times. It is so much more fun to watch it with them then I remember it being with anyone else.

The things that I love about Christmas are so different than what I used to love about it. For instance, I love that I have little kids that wake up and expect to see presents under the tree from Santa Claus. I love that I get to BE Santa Claus now! That is such a fun feeling!
Now I understand how much fun it must have been for my Mom to do Christmas for all her kids. The wrapping and writing in fancy cursive from: Santa Claus*))) Hiding presents in my closet from Willow especially. She's been asking LOTS of questions about Santa and when he is coming. I just imagine her pulling a "Sarah and Terri Christmas scheme", opening all their presents then, rewrapping them, thinking that certainly nobody would notice!!!

I can't wait for this Christmas!

Roger that. Over.

Summer is officially over and I feel as though a little part of my life has died.
Strange, how we are so connected to the seasons. When they change, it is very hard. All of the sudden, I am in long sleeved clothing and wearing socks and shoes, the heater on and bundling my children.

Goodbye flip-flops.
See ya later back-yard.
Goodbye Summer and ok, Fall... I'll letcha in. But please try to let the sun shine on us sometimes.

I hate Salt Lake in the Spring-time, I hate Salt Lake in the fall...

Seriously

I don't know why the hell I still live here.
I don't like the weather as it changes so abruptly.
I don't like snow and I certainly DON'T like how cold it gets here.
So, why the hell am I still here???

We are saving to move to a rainnier place. Oregon.
At least there is a beach there. No snow. No freeeeezing snow and certainly no colder than hell nights that you have to either a) basically pay over 100.00 to heat your house, b) freeze in the night cause you can't afford to pay the damn heating bill or c) get the hell outta dodge and stop all the complaining.

I'll take c) please.

5 Years Ago... 9/11

I was just on my sister Sarah's blog www.foxystarbuck.blogspot.com , and realized it happened 5 years ago, today. She asked where we were when this happened.
She reminded me that we cannot forget.
This is a day that goes down in U.S., and I think actually, WORLD history. We simply are NEVER safe enough.

Girlfriend in a coma*

Girlfriend in a coma, I knowI know - its serious
Girlfriend in a coma, I knowI know - its really serious
There were times when I could have murdered her
(but you know, I would hate anything to happen to her)
No, I dont want to see her
Do you really think she'll pull through ?
Do you really think she'll pull through?
Do ...
Girlfriend in a coma, I know I know - its serious
My, my, my, my, my, my baby, goodbye
There were times when I could have strangled her
(but you know, I would hate anything to happen to her)Would you pleaseLet me see her?
Do you really thinkShell pull through ?
Do you really thinkShell pull through ?
Do ...
Let me whisper my last goodbyes, I know - its serious


need I say more?

Ahhh... More back surgery.

So...
I get to have yet another back surgery. I go to a new Orthopedist today for my surgical consult.
It all started when I noticed a couple months ago that my right leg was feeling numb. The numbness never went away, and in fact just seemed to get down right worse. Fffuuuucckk.
So... this picture above is some of what is wrong with me back. My L3 and L4 are herniated. Not just L4. So that means that they get to take out 2 discs this time and then fuse my spine with a titanium ROD.

Still irritating...

Well.
I can't seem to stop irritating Willow. She said it to me again today. Guess I need to stay in check, man.
Classic!

"YOU'RE IRRITATING ME!!!"

So, yesterday as I was trying to manage all things house-wise and the kids, I sat down briefly to the computer for a little break. Up skulks Willow in her attempt to get my attention and thus wake the baby, 10 mins into her morning nap. Kicking the computer chair. Whining loudly. Making sounds that I had never heard her make before. - Damn near driving me insane,
she says " YOU'RE IRRITATING ME!!!"
"Why, Willow? What have I done to irritate you so badly?"
"YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME!"
"What were you trying to tell me?"
"THAT YOU'RE IRRITATING ME AND I'M BEING INSANE NOW!"
It's moments like these that one must reflect on what one says as a parent in times of annoyance.
(deep breath, Mommy.) I remind myself.
"Willow. I know you hear Mommy say things like "I'm so irritated. and Please STOP annoying me!!!" But, those are not nice things to say to someone... Can we try to NOT say these things to each other anymore?"
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry that I've told you that you irritate me sometimes, Willow."
"I'm sorry that you irritate me sometimes too, Mommy."

NYQUIL*

SICK...

Is Nyquil the most amazing cold/flu medicine over the counter you can get? What the hell do you care? Because this morning I awoke to the feeling of death in my head, chest and nose. Realizing the feeling of impending doom, I walked to the medicine cabinet and found that there was one dose of NYQUIL left just for me. As I lifted my arm to chug the 4 tbsp's down, I had an epiphany... If I can make it thru this day, then NYQUIL really will be the best damn thing in the world. The day isn't over yet and I still feel like HELL on death's doormat.

HAPPY *28th* BIRTHDAY, SAROO!!!

Today is a very important Birthday for one of the GREATEST American's and a girl with the best fashion sense I know... Little Sarah *!

I was thinking back a couple years to when I turned 28 and remember it being a strange and sort of transitional age. You're not 29, almost 30. Just in between in a sort of "I better enjoy the rest of my 20's, limbo- land." But a good age, none the less.

So, here's to you little Sarah. Happy F-in' Birthday from ME!!!

Summer Swimmin'

This morning I took the girls swimming to Steiner.
I forgot how much I love to be in water when it is BLAAAZING hot outside.
Willow got a life jacket-thingy-suit and today was her first try with it, so we were coaxing her (Olivia and I) into the 4ft. part of the kiddie pool without touching her hands. -Man she freaked at first. The fear in her little eyes. Oh, it was sad to see it. I felt like I was a little girl again being frightened of the water. That feeling of certain death. You think you're going to die of one big-gulp of water into your lungs and then... Mommy saves the day. Well. I did! No. really though. You remember that feeling? The pppanic-eee one that you imagine your lungs engulfed with water and no one there to rescue you? Well, maybe I was just super-dramatic. -whatever. How strange though. The way the memories started to spill out from my childhood. My good ol' days of summer at the pools with friends and family.
I remember when I was about 13 0r 14 and I was at someone's pool that lived in our neighborhood in Sandy. It was like a new condo, with a pool. I think it was a lady that I used to babysit for. Anyway. There were a bunch of guys there that were in our ward. Tony Verde, Dana something, Kenny Tisor and I think that the Openshaw's were there.- Hot-cha- cha- Cory Openshaw. (for those of you that don't know these people, don't worry about it... just trying to paint a picture to those of you who know who I am speaking of. Anyway (again)- I didn't know how to dive. All the boys that were swimming at the pool didn't believe me that I didn't, so they all threw me in the pool. At that point in my life, I had never been taught to properly swim. I was pretty much not as frightened of the water as I was pre-pubecent years. But none the less, frightened and unprepared.
I sort of drown a bit that day. They started to take me seriously when I didn't come straight out of the water like Bo-Derrick on the beach. I recall flailing alot. I remember the fear when I was submerged in the water and thinking that I would never see the light of day again. - I know. Such a drama QUEEN. They eventually got the picture when I was flailing, and I think Kenny rescued me. Well, that day I decided to never again feel that unprepared with swimming, so the next month, I went river rafting. - I learned to swim on the Snake River. -sheeit yeah.

That look on Willow's face today reminded me of this experience in my life... Ron is teaching her to swim tonight.
And I hope she never feels that scared in the water again.

Loved this photo... needed to add to the lustre of Pierce! -From "The Matador."

THE MATADOR

Last night, I was FINALLY happy to rent a DVD,
"The Matador." In "The Matador," Pierce Brosnan plays Julian Noble, a weathered assassin on the verge of a nervous-breakdown, while Greg Kinnear plays Danny Wright, an American businessman who has terrible luck with his business endeavors as well as his life: He and his wife (Hope Davis) are hit with one tragedy after another, pulling thru it all with their deep love for one another.
Julian and Danny meet in Mexico City while on completely different kinds of business. Julian strikes up an unusual but, believable — and even moving — friendship with Danny one night at the hotel bar on what he is surprised to find out from his "employer" earlier that day, is his birthday.
Great performances by all, but most of all Brosnan plays the most unbelievably believable, nervous break-down hitman that had me thinking "007 can kick ass even with his hysterically vile, yet sexy gut hanging over his Speedo, strutting thru the lobby of a posh Mexico city hotel in a pair of what looked to me like ankle-length black boots, cigarette flopping out of his lip, and tasty cold,(beer)beverage in hand!"
I give it 2 thumbs up and ****!

Am I the only one that LOVES "Grey's Anatomy?"

Seriously, people. This is I believe one of the best new shows out that there is.

I LOVE "Mc-Dreamy." There is something about Patrick Dempsey that makes me wanna watch "Can't Buy Me Love", over and over again. Maybe it was his lawn-mowing business, or perhaps just his total cuteness that kills me to this day, but I LOVE him in this show. The unattainable hot doctor that Meredith Grey is soooooo in love with.
One word, girls. -Yummy.

And Meredith's character is so loveable. She is so perfectly pathetic that you just wanna befriend her as your closest girlfriend and help her see the light that, "He's NEVER gonna leave his wife, dude."

I dunno. I haven't watched it in a while, and I sat down tonight and watched an episode that I've actually never seen before, and remembered how much I LOVE this show. If ya haven't seen it, do. Sunday nights, peeps. 8:00 on ABC.

***

I was on Sarah's blog and this is what I found out!

Apparently my inner Princess Pop-Diva self is none other than the Back-woods, BRITNEY SPEARS~*



Your Inner Pop Princess Is Brintey Spears

"I?m a slave for you. (Take that) I cannot hold it; I cannot control it. I?m a slave (It just feels right) for you. (It just feels good) I won?t deny it; I?m not trying to hide it. (Baby)" You're not that innocent.

Who's" Your Inner Pop Princess?

Facsinating, HUH?

ROUTINE*~

Sometimes I wish my routine was a dancing routine with Fred Astaire, and I am Ginger Rogers!!!

Reality check, Terri. It is not 1936 and you are NOT Ginger Rogers...in "Swing Time."

WHY!?!?!?!?!!!!!!


I find myself asking this question a lot lately.

This is MY routine:

Wake up. Feed the kids. Do the dishes. Clean the house. blah, blah, blah.
Where are the rewards? I guess some would argue that the reward is your children, although sometimes I fail to see that as a reward. ( you must understand that sometimes as a Mother, you DO feel burdened by them, though it's not all the time and you don't love them any less... yes this is a disclosure!) Shouldn't dancing in "Swing Time" with Fred be a part of that routine? C'mon, man. It'd be cool.

I was thinking the other day about the routine that I used to have when I was single and without little ones and a partner to take care of. My routine was simple. I would get up, take a shower, go to work, come home, hang out with Traci my sister that I used to be roommates with, and then maybe go out for drinks with friends, or just hang out by myself.

Oh but how life has changed.
I no longer have the freedom to just go do whatever it is that I want at my heart's desire. There is like this "clearance" sort of phase that I must go through in order to prepare to do anything. You see, the difference between being alone without anyone else to care for, and being responsible for children and a relationship, you have to "plan" things. Now, I've NEVER been one for planning. I have always been the "fly by the seat of my pants kinda gal."
But now, even if I want to go to the store, there is much planning involved. The "just-in-cases." Just in case the baby needs a diaper change in the middle of grocery shopping. -Take the diaper bag. Are there any diapers and wipes in the diaper bag? Then, there's the all puzzeling question. "WHERE THE HELL is THE DIAPER BAG???" Oh. And "where the hell are my keys?" That's one I have been struggling with ever since getting pregnant with Willow. I think Motherhood makes you lose a lot of your faculities.
Never before have I lost things more, than since I've been a Mother. What the hell's that all about? God must have a sense of humor, even if it is seemingly cruel to me. He's probably laughing everytime I forget something and have to turn the car around to go home and get it.
Even if I can't be Ginger Rogers in "Swing Time," I still have my girls and that's more than good enough for me.

I DID THE DISHES

This is an amazing thing. There are still some left though.
I like the idea of burning everything. It just sounds better.

How do you clean when everything is soooo messy???

I am seriously procrastinating.
First, I am sorry that I have been so far out in no mans land that I haven't even wrote updates lately.
I guess it goes to show how very much I've been procrastinating EVERYTHING!!!

Like my house, for instance.

Amazingly, it will not clean itself no matter how much I dream that it will. Everytime I think I can clean a room, I just get so overwhelmed by the disaster that I surrender to the mess and sit helplessly watching t.v. -evil t.v.
Sometimes when I think that I REALLY CAN conquer the messes. I start, then get overwhelmed again, and end up not finishing..................................argh.

SO.

Any advice?
Desperate to get organized by this weekend so I can have myself a YARD SALE to get rid of all this crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


help!