Miss Understood*

I feel misunderstood in a way that explaining can't even explain. One day I'm "this" and one day I'm "that." Why is this such an issue? Why are my beliefs, or lack thereof under so much scrutiny?
I can't remember the last time I had the "religion" talk with anyone in in close relation to me. Perhaps it is because, (as pointed out to me) I can't seem to commit to either side of the fence. Some days you gotta dance. Others, well... I just sit it out.

Daily update on beliefs as follows:

(note this may change at a rapid pace... so keep up.)

1. I believe in FAMILY.
2. I believe that I am entitled to my own opinions and beliefs, no matter how off the wall they may seem to others, & to project my beliefs onto others is not right for me to do... no matter how odd or off color I think other's beliefs are.
3. I believe in God.
4. I believe that Jesus did exist.
5. I believe I know my own heart very well and trust it completely.
6. I believe that love comes from here and there and everywhere...*

I found myself tonight after the gym, in the most precarious conversation with my little sister... we'll call her Sarah for the sake of concealing identies... *

For the 1st time in many years, I realized just how fucked up people seem to think my ideas and beliefs are. Because I've been so back and forth about, well, everything. I get seriously afraid to talk to this sister of mine. Perhaps it is because I value her opinion so very much, she has no idea... Perhaps it is because I am a bit intimidated by her. Perhaps it boils down to my own insecurities.

The one thing I know and believe in utterly is family. If it weren't for my children, my siblings, my mother and other close relatives, I don't believe I'd be alive today. Quite literally. That is truly the one thing I believe in utmost. No one can ever take that away from me. Even if they were gone tomorrow, I'd still have the belief that I'd be with them again someday.