Positive Ebb and Flow*

Last weekend it came to an end. That which I knew for too many years and now it is done.
Ron and I are over. The girls are wrecked.
This is something that was inevitable...

It hit me like a ton of bricks when they spent the night over at his apartment the night before last. There was a knock at the door and it was Ron, delivering the girls back home to me. He told me of how traumatized they were and that neither one of them were able to sleep. He implied that all of this was my fault. And off he went.
There were so many tears and heartache flowing like a waterfall. I was unprepared. My Mother was here when they came. At the door, Sarah wouldn't let go of Ron's leg. She wanted Daddy. She couldn't understand the reason he doesn't live here anymore. She sobbed in such a way that my heart fell out of my chest and onto the ground... Then it was Willow's turn.
I sat on the couch with both of them in my lap and sobbed. Some people say sobbed with the slightest impression that they cried, but, I SOBBED. Overwhelming. Scary even. This was too difficult. An amazing sense of guilt and responsibility flooded me. I HAD done this. My choice was the reason that they were crying. This wasn't something that Ron would've been brave enough to do, he could've and would've stayed complacent in our fucked up relationship forever, if he knew it meant not changing anything.
The prison break part of this is over, which I am immensely grateful for. Now I just need to convince Ron that he needs to get the rest of his things out, so the girls don't stay forever confused and with that will come freedom for all involved.
In the long run, this IS all for the better. I have tried to keep a positive flow and attitude about it all... as one of my very good friends has told me to. The positivity will promote a good outcome for the girls and that is ALL that I want. It doesn't make it anymore easy though. It doesn't take away any less of our already fragmented hearts either... But, it does make it a bit less terrifying.
We are free and clear to be happy again.